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I havent really been on here at all recently. These past months have been a bitch. Finding out you have ADD would be enough of a headache with the medication experimenting while still trying to function in daily routines. But the first meds raised my heart rate and the first doctor was incompetent. Only just now am I starting to be stable on those meds, without crazy adverse side effects.
Not to mention all the other hell Ive had the pleasure of dealing with. A drawn out break up, made more complicated by her past. Friends who want to act like high schoolers and think of me as an antichrist of sorts. Money woes. Sister’s divorce, crying phone calls with that. Mother’s health, which beyond the scares also raise more money woe concerns. Depression issues, what else is new? Grandma drinking in response to the one year anniversary of my grandpa’s death, and that whole fun. Not to mention most people up here only want to be my friend when it serves them a purpose.
And then school. Which I have been killing myself in so that I might be able to get straight As. I currently have As and or high Bs in all of em. so hopefully that’ll pay off.
So to anyone who feels Ive closed off, and Im some awful person who just thinks all of these problems are unique to me; I know theyre not, but go fuck yourself. Ive been dealing with so much shit, I simply wont take useless bullshit on top of that. Im not an awful person, Im not a god either, but im trying to get through an extreme rough patch in my life. I can rest soundly at least knowing Im not some dumb college binge drinker devoid of morals.
